Elijah Clark's Story + Newborn Photos

I have always loved reading birth stories. They are all full of power, grace and surrender. Being moved by reading another women's birth story made me so excited to experience birth on my own. It has been Four years since and I've had this written in my drafts since Elijah was 4 months old but now seems like a good time to share our birth story.

Of course I had a "plan". Everyone has a plan, don't they?

Labor would start naturally. I would have BB at home and unmedicated. I would have a water birth. Some of these things happened, and some of them didn't.

Here is our story…

John 6:21 | When a woman is giving birth, she has sorrow because her hour has come, but when she has delivered the baby, she no longer remembers the anguish, for joy that a human being has been born into the world.

Rewind all the way back to before Christmas 2018. My husband wasn't yet home for Christmas from training in Oklahoma and I had a contraction scare in mid-December. Called the midwife told me to take a warm bath and chug a liter of water. If that didn't stop them to let her know. I did that, prayed so hard and thankfully they stopped after an hour of doing that. After that I thought, okay surely this baby will be here any day... before the due date even!

Thankfully, Brenton came home from training on January 9, 2019. He did have to leave before finishing but he wouldn't officially have been done until the week of my due date. We weren't willing to risk it. But then January 18, 2019, BB's due date, came and went. (The due date was very accurate because we had an IUI and therefore knew the date of conception)

For weeks leading up to my due date I felt so much pelvic pressure on walks and ball bouncing and had bouts of stronger than Braxton Hicks contractions that I thought multiple times "today is the day!" Psych!

We went to my 41 week appointment and Liz my midwife asked if I wanted to be checked. I was pretty against being checked in the weeks prior because I didn't want to risk an infection or have the number mess with my head. And I'm grateful I had no idea up until this day. I said sure and we discovered I was already 3cm dilated and the babe was certainly low. Liz stripped my membranes to hopefully speed things up. So we went home and waited for things to start to happen.

Thursday night came and went with nothing.

Friday night came and went with nothing.

We woke up Saturday morning (9 days past my due date) confused and discouraged. No contractions, no bloody show, no water leaking, no anything. We have done everything known to man to try to induce labor naturally.

I texted Liz and told her I would like try Castor oil to induce the labor. Prior to actually being so late I was very against trying this approach. I so badly wanted to go into labor without any help. I was so torn about trying the castor oil. It will only work if your body is ready, so what if I wasn't ready? What if it makes me sick, since it’s a laxative? What if it doesn't work? So much apprehension ran through my head.

But at the end of the day, a healthy, home birth is what I desired and I was creeping a little too close for comfort to 42 weeks of a medically induced hospital birth. And so with the peace of God about the situation we made a creamsicle like shake with the first dose of the castor oil and I drank it up at 1130 am.

Contractions started to happen a little more frequently but they were no more intense than Braxton Hicks. By 2:30pm the contractions waned and I was getting discouraged again. Liz instructed me to take the second dose 4 hours after the first dose, as thats the one that makes the contractions stick.

And so at 3:30pm I took the second dose.

We went for a walk immediately after. I had to stop a few times on the walk to focus through a contraction. But they weren't that close together yet. On a 20 minute walk I had to stop about 3 times. Upon getting back home I went to lay down to hopefully catch some much needed z's. But no, I only laid there because the contractions were a bit more intense than a BH.

I emerged from our bedroom around 6pm and I waddled over to the yoga ball and bounced comfortably for a few while counting contractions. They were definitely more frequent and I could not talk through comfortably them at this point.

Brenton made some pasta and meatballs and put it in front of me around 7pm. I took two bites and pushed it away. I couldn't even eat or stand the sight of food, the contractions were 2-4 minutes apart and really starting to hurt. I texted Liz at 7:40pm, here is my exact text...

"I have no idea when you should come over but these really hurt! I'd hate to bring you here prematurely. What do you think?"

haha who says that to their midwife when contractions are like 3 minutes apart and are already known to be 3cm!

She replied, "I'll head over soon. I mean we know you were already 3 in the office so it's not like you’re going backwards."

And thank goodness I did text her because not more than 5 minutes after that exchange I pushed the yoga ball across the floor and got on my hands and knees. I had the sudden urge to vomit so I had Brenton bring me a trash can. And so I rocked and labored on the floor like that for 30 minutes or so. Never threw up but felt soooo close!

I continued to labor standing up hunched over the ball that rested on the couch. I told Brenton to start setting up the pool. And poor guy he was busy doing that while I focused through the intensity of transition and I constantly asked him if it was ready.

It was around 8:30pm and the midwife still hadn't shown up yet and I had a contraction that was so intense that I audibly said, "I can't do this!" I think there is a point in labor where every woman either has that thought or actually says it out loud. But then Jesus took my face in his hands and said "Yes you can. I'm right here with you. Breath."

I was weak and helpless and yet I could feel his strength and tenderness in my pain.

Oh the relief I felt knowing that I could only do this because Jesus was right there with me. Palms up in complete surrender, I focused on the words of my worship birth playlist and swayed back and forth for a few more breaths.

Then I told Brenton I felt like I had to push. It was a mild pushing sensation not too intense but definitely different than the last few hours of labor.

A few minutes later, in walks our midwife Liz. Oh the relief I felt, but I'm sure Brenton felt it more!!

According to Liz I was 10cm dilated by the time she arrived and she quickly put absorbent pads underneath me. And thank goodness she did because no more than 5 minutes later my water broke! That was something that definitely didn't cross our minds to do.

And so being 10 cm dilated at 8:45pm and already pushing I could get in the pool if I wanted to. Well, funny story about that. It was full of water but the water was ice cold! Our poor water heater couldn't keep up with it. A water birth was not an option anymore for me since they thought it could happen anytime. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't upset for a breath but really I was pretty okay with it. I didn't have the energy to concentrate on anything other than breathing through these contractions and trying to push my baby out.

At around 10pm we moved to our bedroom and I pushed between the toilet and the bed for what seemed like forever. Liz and her assistant checked BB's heart rate every 15 minutes and it was at a steady 120bpm.

The pushing phase decided to take its time. I pushed on my knees, on my back, on my side, on the toilet. All the positions to move BB down and out. It took me quite sometime to understand what a productive push felt like. But once I did I channeled in on that feeling to try to make every push feel like that. I felt each push bringing me closer to meeting our baby.

There was a lot of talk when I would push my baby out... would it be January 26th or January 27th? I, of course, had no concept of time at all. I was taking it one contraction and push at a time.

At one point Liz told me I could feel my baby's head if I like... it actually took me a long time to reach down and touch BB's head. I just didn't want to get discouraged with all the pushing I've done and only feeling a little bit of the head. Well I reached down and felt a full head of hair! That was all the motivation I needed. I bared down and pushed through the pain with one goal in mind. I was going to meet my baby any minute! The baby I have been praying and waiting for for years!

I pushed for a little over 3 hours before I felt baby crowning... I knew it was called the "ring of fire" but y'all it burned something fierce and I wanted it to stop! And I thanked God hard that it only lasted a couple contractions.

I triumphantly pushed our baby's head out only to hear wailing!! The rest of his body was still inside, I haven't fully delivered him and he was screaming his head off! The most amazing sound I ever heard. And so with one more push our precious baby was born and the relief was instant.

"I can't believe I did that. I can't believe I did that."

I must have whispered that five times before I heard, "Reach down and grab your baby boy."

My baby boy! I pulled him up to my chest, kissed his head and looked at Brenton with wide eyes.

Our baby boy, Elijah Clark Batzer born January 27th at 12:28am. It was him all along! The secret between Elijah and God was out in the open. Our hearts could not contain the joy and the surprise.

He latched on to nurse within minutes of being born! Delivering the placenta was a breeze with a shot of pitocin, a few more crampy contractions, and a couple face grimaces later.

Unfortunately I needed stitches. Little man was born with his left hand by his face and the cord wrapped around his neck twice, he did a nice summersault through it on his way out. But I was holding my boy and thats all that mattered. Liz said that if he didn't have his hand up or the cord around his neck he probably would have came out a whole lot sooner. But the Lord’s hand is on every little detail and though because of this recovery was harder than I wanted, four years past I can honestly say it was all for His glory because its part of my motherhood journey.